The Raider Wire

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This poster is what Kanye said is just a simple blur on what he expects his campaign poster to resemble. August 30, 2015 was also marked as the beginning of the end of the world.

All Hail Yeezus

Kayla Salemi, Opinion Editor September 18, 2015

All hail Yeezus! America you better start getting used to praying to our all mighty lord, Kanye West. As of August 30, 2015, after the duration of a twelve minute long speech, in which he clearly stated,...

Niall Horan performing in Detroit during the On the Road Again 2015 tour. Photo taken and given with permission by Morgan Champion.

Niall Horan Acknowledges Band Breakup Rumors as True

Noelle Walker, Arts and Entertainment Editor September 18, 2015

As of yesterday, One Direction band member Niall Horan announced that his band of five years was indeed breaking up. “I thought it was about time we told our fans the truth,” Horan said, “they...

An artist’s rendition of what North’s new pool will look like. The resemblance to Georgia Tech will be uncanny (Photo Credit to Jack Dalmolin)

Construction of North’s New Pool Proceeding Well

Owen Wickman, Staff Writer September 2, 2015

North Forsyth’s Raider Swim Team is receiving some sweet new upgrades this year. Thanks to generous funding from the Forsyth County Board of Education, North Forsyth High School decided to undertake...

A stake is a good weapon of defense against vampires. The problem with this is that you have to have the strength to drive the stake hard enough, and actually hit the heart, because if you miss, you are in a lot of trouble, my friend.

Paranoia for the Survivalist: The Not-so Natural Disaster

Noelle Walker, Facebook Admin May 11, 2015

How to Survive a Horror Movie Everyone who has ever seen a horror movie has a good idea of the do’s and don’ts. For example: do not split up. If this advice is not followed, then at least half...

Dr. Lynx, who has previously debuted on the Friday Lynx as a doctorate lynx of great experience, intensively inspects a glorious specimen of rock he uncovered in the field. “Meow,” he says, when asked about the quality of the geologic marvel.

Friday Lynx: Rock the Casbah

Owen Wickman, Staff Writer May 7, 2015

Rocks may be the most fascinating entities ever seen on the planet. 100% of the people that the Friday Lynx interviewed revealed that they took an interest in rocks, pebbles, and other geologic entities....

: Pictured here is just one of many similar acts taking place all over the globe. Beware, dear reader, as you stare into the heart of darkness.

Friday Lynx: The Cutest Conspiracy Ever.

Colin Bergen, Staff Writer May 5, 2015

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my grave duty to inform you that we, the law-abiding public, have been deceived. We have been deceived right from the very beginning, by no less than our greatest enemy. No,...

Among the documents salvaged from Bloomingdales’ ship, the HMS Dinghy, many paintings of his adventures adorn the captains’ quarters. Somehow they managed not to be spoiled by the water, and experts are studying them carefully as to discern any hidden meanings. This particular painting appears to depict Bloomingdales’ time in Egypt.

The Friday Sphinx

Owen Wickman, Staff Writer April 28, 2015

Recent findings of historical documents dating from the early Age of Exploration offer new insight into the European documentation of the New World. These documents were uncovered from a shipwreck discovered...

NFHS Senior, Justin Ebert, sits proudly next to a poster for the prom he “took no part in planning.”

An Interview on Prom with the Most Unqualified Person Imaginable

Rayne Crivelli, Staff Writer April 28, 2015

This past week, I was lucky enough to sit down with senior Justin Ebert for an interview about prom. As we all know, Ebert was North’s Junior Class President last year, meaning he was the head of prom...

The Ottoman flag hangs behind Sultan Erdogan, dressed in classic Ottoman royal attire, as he makes the announcement of his status as absolute monarch at the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul. Many historical Ottoman Sultans wore oversized turbans that some have compared to onions. “Anyone who compares the Holy Turban to an onion in the Neo-Ottoman Empire shall be stoned to death,” Erdogan mentioned when asked about the comparison.

Flatline: Recep Tayyip Erdogan Declares Neo-Ottoman Empire

Jack Scott and Owen Wickman January 27, 2015

Recep Tayyip Erdogan, former president of Turkey, has declared himself Absolute Galactic Grand Sultan and Caesar of the Glorious and Unassailable Neo-Ottoman Empire, or, in short, The Sultan of Turkey....

Above is photographed the horror of a bee upon beeing punched savagely.

Beekeeper’s Guide to the Galaxy: How to Punch Bees

Ashton Bruce, Megan Hoffman, and December 1, 2014

Have you ever had pesky bees lingering around your rose bushes acting like they have business being there? Have you ever had bees in tiny suits minding their own business in your backyard and just had...

FLATLINE: NFL Joins the Violence-Free Animal Lover’s Club

FLATLINE: NFL Joins the Violence-Free Animal Lover’s Club

Brandon Moss, Web Editor November 11, 2014

Due to recent cases of abusive National Football League (NFL) players such as Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice, the NFL has decided to join forces with the Animal Lover’s Club, an anti-violence organization...

Some lynxes take things far too literally. In an effort to raise awareness for the sea and lynxes, this particular lynx has taken the initiative to become a rare snorkeling lynx exploring under a “c.”

FLATLINE: Friday Lynx: Under the Sea

Owen Wickman, Staff Writer November 11, 2014

Lynxes and oceans, two very different entities, both suffer from a common ailment: underrepresentation from the media. Lynxes frolic through snow covered forests and oceans do ocean-y things, but rarely...

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The Raider Flatline (North’s Satirical News)