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A satellite photograph reveals that the layout of the school campuses of the North Forsyth elementary, middle, and high schools are distinctly triangular, just like the most common symbol used by the Illuminati. Thus further insight is provided towards proving the existence of the Illuminati within the Forsyth County School. Screenshot from Google Earth

(RAIDER FLATLINE) Illuminati Conspiracy Discovered at North Forsyth

Owen Wickman, Staff Writer November 4, 2014

After spending over a year at North Forsyth High School, I had come to the conclusion the school was ordinary. Students in this education facility act as typically as any other high school I have come...

Lynxes are not supposed to be in space. However, these two lynxes have decided to defy conventional laws of nature.

Friday Lynx: Space Edition

Owen Wickman, Staff Writer May 19, 2014

Listening to a lynx’s mew is like have liquefied pancakes poured over your tongue; you expect it to be smooth and delicious, but the fluid will most likely burn your skin off. A lynx should sound like...

Dr Lynx, M.D. prepares to perform some science. Dr. Lynx is qualified in gynecology and the physics of moving bricks. He attended school at the University of Mom’s Basement for two years and the University of Tomatoes for another eight.

Friday Lynx: Recent Studies Show…

Owen Wickman, Staff Writer May 16, 2014

In a recent study published in The American Journal of Criminal Psychology has revealed that almost every serial killer in American history was at one point denied the purchase of a new toy when they were...

When enforcing your rule, it is always important to use modernized weaponry in your military. It is quite embarrassing to go into battle against an army of tanks with 19th century cannons.

How to Take Over a Country

Jack Scott, Staff Writer May 15, 2014

  There is only one type of person who would take time out of his or her day to find out how to take over a country, and that person is an aspiring dictator. Nobody who wants to take over a country...

With a little effort you can go from this to THIS.

Teen Girl Magazine Parody

Emma Franklin, News Editor February 25, 2014

Hey ladies, Even though you are perfect just the way you are, you are doing everything wrong, and your life is a mess. Here are some helpful tips from our assembly of non-experts on everything from...

Billy Cheesecakess favorite animal was the unicorn. He would ride the beast through Jeruslalem and other cities as he commited his ethically dubious acts. Billy Cheesecakess unicorn was known as the fastest mount in all of the Middle East.

The Morally Ambiguous Chronicle of Billy Cheesecakes

Jack Scott, Staff Writer January 24, 2014

The knights of Mordor Great Candyland were valiant slaughterers, addicted to the concept of death grand and noble men, who fought bravely for Mordor Candyland. They rode their demonhounds rainbow-barfing...

One image perfectly captures the human beings surprise.

Citizen Contributes Observations on the Weather

Brandon Moss, Sports Editor January 16, 2014

Recently, on Fox News Channel, political rants ceased for an hour long report on the weather, where Rea Pete, a young woman in Georgia, gave us some insightful observations. “Yeah it’s definitely...

The Journalism class celebrates with Mrs. Rose.

(FLATLINE) Students Rejoice as Mid-terms Near

Brandon Moss, Sports Editor December 13, 2013

In a recent survey, 99.97 percent of students at North Forsyth High School are “absolutely overjoyed” to face the majestic beauty of mid-terms before the break. This entire semester, all students could...

The biggest movie of the year. Also, the longest.

(FLATLINE) The Hobbit 2: An Unnecessary Journey

Brandon Moss, Sports Editor December 12, 2013

Fans that saw The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey will love its new sequel, The Hobbit 2: An Unnecessary Journey, coming to theatres tomorrow. One fan tells the Flatline, “I loved all the walking and landscape...

Brandon and Brandon Moss sit together, minds a pair, as if a reflection.

Interview with Myself: Music

Brandon Moss, Sports Editor November 19, 2013

“Good morning, Brandon. You are looking great today.”   “You are too kind. You’re not so bad yourself!”   “Thank you. But let us not waste moments flattering ourselves....

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