In a world where romantic movies dominate box offices and Valentine’s Day yields revenue of millions for candy companies and Hallmark, false expectations have been formed in the minds of the average American woman ranging in ages from puppy-loving teens to married seventy year olds. The things that the average female does not know about love are as follows: 1.You will not get roses more than once a year – maybe twice if you are exceptionally lucky. 2. Romance is minimal. 3. Men are all stupid and should not be expected to remember important dates of any sort – you are supposed to remind them. 4. Your idea of love is his idea of a day and night spent in the sheets.

Now that a new perspective has been created, let’s continue on to discuss why a Nicholas Sparks novel will almost never be a relationship reality. First, women are all confusing; in fact, we are pretty much all bat-ish crazy…And if you are in a relationship and are ever christened with this name in the midst of an argument, then you should just admit to it and proclaim your psychotic female tendencies with a smile; after all, screaming at the top of your lungs that you are not crazy just tends to reinforce the claim that you are actually crazy.

Secondly, women are annoying. We cry about stupid and pointless things, nag our partners about trivial matters, and one week out of every month (unless you are knocked up, in which case you are way more annoying) we complain that we are bloated, cramping, hungry and cry a river. So, in order to deal with all of the trying obstacles that love presents, women must simply accept that neither you nor your partner are perfect, and strive to simply be happy. There are many different types of love in this world, but never the same love twice. True love comes once…if you are even that lucky. And lastly, the man who truly loves you will most definitely agree that you are indeed crazy, but will be crazy enough himself to love that most about you.