“That’s so gay!”

Just that simple phrase when used can be meant as a joke, but to anyone who is inherently “gay”, it is seen as malice. Since when did it become a bad thing to be gay? Let me share the actual definition of the word gay. Gay means to be light-hearted or carefree, and it was only recently adapted, to the now slang for homosexual, so it would fit in with today’s speech.

I cringe every time I hear that phrase. As a person who has had their sexuality mocked and made a joke of, and as a part of the LGBT community, I can say that the phrase hurts me. It makes me remember the days when I had to just laugh it off, trying to push that part of me down, because if someone were to do something or say something, they would automatically become gay.

The funniest part is that I had a gay uncle. He was happy and proud of himself, and to be honest, that’s what confused me most. How could someone be so happy while being something perceived as bad?  It took meeting my first love to find out.

You see, I had meaningless little crushes in the past, but I never had loved someone before this girl. From that moment on, I was able to see how my uncle was able to be so happy in a society that was cruel.

My freshman year in this school, I came out to my friends, letting them know that I like girls too. I remember the first person I told, one of my best friends, who happened to be one of the worst people when it came to saying things like, “That’s so gay!” or, “What are you, a fag?” and it terrified me as I stood there in front of her. Hell, I know for a fact that at one point in the process I was crying, no matter how weak that sounds, but as I managed to choke out the words that would not come out I felt her arms go around me. I waited silently against her and the first thing she said to break the silence was an apology from her realizing how much that had hurt me.

So with my coming out there was praise and there was a lot of hate. Despite the hate though, I was still able to be happy knowing that it did not matter what other’s thought about my sexuality. Now with all the things I have gone through and all the hate I have endured, I can still say that there is nothing wrong with being “gay” with a prideful smile.