The other day I was sitting at lunch with my friends, talking about my African American hair. I should not have been surprised at all when a million questions began to shoot my way about my hair. Ew, you don’t wash your hair every day? Why I your hair so curly? Can I touch it? What do you put in it? Why don’t you wear your hair down? No I do not wash my hair every day, but I am not supposed to. It is actually very bad to wash your hair every day because you are stripping your hair of its natural oils, and one of the leading reasons that other races hair gets greasy so fast. I shampoo and condition my hair once a week (preferably on Sunday), and I do different treatments throughout the week to keep it soft and healthy. I do not know why my hair is so curly, but it has something to do with my races because the majority of black women have curly/kinky/coily hair. I do not see what is so fascinating about my hair that urges everyone to stick their hands in it. This is where I say “Paws off.” I put many things in my hair to keep it healthy. Yes, some of the things are simple household items, such as olive oil, apple cider vinegar, lemon, oatmeal, etc. I don’t wear my hair down much because that would give people an open invitation to pet me. In the following paragraphs I will be doing a Q and A with questions that I am asked on a daily bases, and answering them from my own personal experience.

Why do you wear that funny cap thing on your head? Most individuals do not know that African hair is the most fragile hair. Our curls are very fragile and easily break off. We have to wear a silk bonnet to bed in order to protect our hair from the friction of the cotton pillow. It is the same reason we wrap t-shirts around our head after showering rather than wrapping another towel around our head. The friction breaks our hair off and decreases hair growth.

You’re pretty for a black girl. I take this as an insult more than a compliment. Hearing this makes me wonder what am I compared to a different race? I have never heard anyone say, “You’re pretty for a white girl” or “You’re pretty for a Hispanic girl”. Why is this? (It is because it is just not something nice to say.) Black women are singled out in society’s eyes because we are darker than other races. We are singled out because we have wild manes of uncontrollable curls, and we are singled out because we are associated with what the internet percussive a “normal” black woman to behave.  I am pretty compared to other black women, but if I was put up against a Latinas woman would I be any less pretty?

I like yellow-bones, not black girls. Yellow-bones are light-skinned black women whose skin tone resembles cameral to a soft almond shade. Many of the famous women in the black community are known to gradually turn lighter skin tone over the years. Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, Rhianna, Halle Berry, etc. are primary representatives of the black community, and they have all gradually lighten their skin. Having a lighter skin tone is what society thinks is acceptable, but then these T.V shows like Jersey Shore celebrate women who are always in the tanning bed trying to get darker and darker. What I acceptable? What is this world coming too? Dark girls want to be light, and light girls want to be dark. This all stems from the fact that everyone wants what they do not have.

You like white guys… but you’re black. I still do not understand why my skin tone has anything to do with the type of race that I have an interest in. I would willingly date any race if I truly had feelings towards them. I would not let someone’s color or culture get in the way of that. Many black women feel subjected to staying within their race when it comes to dating because of what society named us as. We are beautiful women, and we should not be shunned to only one race of men.

Black people can’t sunburn. Black skin can burn, it is as simple as that. So many times over the shorts years I have had on this earth people a have asked “Can you sunburn?” Yes, I can, but just not as easily. I have gotten sunburnt when I went to the beach. My skin was peeled as anyone’s with a sunburn would.

In addition to being able to sunburn, we can also get darker. Surprise, we can tan too. Many people have this assumption that since we, as a black community, already have dark skin, we cannot increase our darkness. Many of my friends make sly comments when I apply sunblock, but I do not think they understand we are just as easily capable of getting a tan as any other race.

All and all, the African American Community a complex group of individuals when it comes to our daily lives. We are misunderstood time and time again. Confused faces, and questionably remarks is all that is represented to me when a question surfaces about anything having to do with the black community. I hope I have enlighten some people on why we do some of the things we do. There is a reason behind how our community maintains itself and how I go about my daily rountine. I think I am speaking for many black women when I say that I am tired of answering stupid questions, and having to repeat myself.