The wind howled through the trees and I shivered. It was not from the cold.

Ahead of me was a forest, filled completely with darkness.

With trembling fingers, I grabbed my elbows to give me something to hold onto and forced myself onward.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Elise’s voice called from behind me.

I looked back and gave her a small, sad smile. We both knew I had to do this. For myself.

Before I could change my mind, I stepped forward.

They said the forest could help you find yourself—that it had magical properties. Once you were inside, you would be exposed to your true self—who you really are inside; however, while some people come out a changed person, some do not make it out at all.

As I walked in, the darkness enveloping me, I opened my mind; I opened my heart. I thought about my name.

My mom named me Cley because she used to walk in the mud on the farm while she was pregnant. She loved the feeling she got as the mud stuck between her toes. She told me the name just spoke to her; she added her own twist to the spelling.

I thought about how I wasn’t afraid of the dirt, and I thought how I would get the mud stuck between my toes. My mom would just laugh thinking back to those days.

I prodded onward, just letting my thoughts take over.

I thought about 8th grade year; I had just changed schools and I was sitting alone at lunch. It was torture; you don’t know where to look or who to listen to. I just ended up staring at my plate, staunching the tears that tried to form in my eyes.

Eventually, Elise noticed me and invited me to sit with her; this one act of kindness made the rest of my year.

Because of what I experienced, I eventually invited every lonely person I noticed to sit with me.

I thought about the time no one asked me to prom, and I thought about how I ended up going with a bunch of friends. My whole outlook changed, however, when one of my friends told me I only got two my whole life. At first I was wary, but even Cinderella went to the ball alone.

The next year some geeky boy asked me to prom, and I said yes, even though I knew a big shot football player was eventually going to ask me. I knew it was the right thing to go with the boy who asked first.

My thoughts moved to when I was in Kindergarten and some girls had a hair club where they basically styled each other’s hair. If you were asked to be apart, you were lucky. While it does not seem like a big deal to older people, it was a huge girl for a bunch of 6 and 7 year olds. My friends and I were not invited; however, one day, as I walked by, the hair club told me to come join them. I sat there as a girl braided my hair, but I felt in my stomach it was wrong. So, I stood up and went back to my real friends—we started our own hair club.

My thoughts led to when I was a hostess and how sometimes I helped the servers clean their tables, whether or not they were nice to me. The happiness and look of appreciation on their faces were unforgettable.

Thoughts like these, good or bad, fled into my mind, and before I knew it, the sun blinded my eyes.

I was at the other side of the forest.

I realized that the forest did not have magical capabilities at all. It did not tell you who you were or what you were going to be. All it did was give you a quiet place to open your mind; it gave you a place to find out who you really were.

All the memories I have make up who I am; I realize this now. While memories guided me on the path, I already knew the way out.

I just needed to remember.

“Cley!” I heard Elise shout. I turned around and she slung her arms around me, “Did you find out who you were?” She asked.

I nodded, but it turned out I knew who I was the whole time.