It was the worst accident I had ever been in, and that’s saying a lot. I should have considered my poor choices, such as turning left on a red light. Maybe the worst option was not breaking when I realized my mistake, but underestimating how far my turn was. A moral, decent person would have been panicking over the health status of the other individual caught in the accident, which is what I should have been doing by the looks of the other car. As I glanced over my surroundings of shattered glass, a caved-in stereo, and the chaos of my environment—I realized I couldn’t move.
With no hesitation, my first instinct was to remove my seat belt. I may have been more concerned with staying out of jail for this, but the other car appeared crushed entirely. If there was any chance of me convincing the judge my soul didn’t deserve damnation, I at least needed to play the part of a concerned teenage citizen. However, this plan was delayed because I couldn’t move my arms, legs, or really…anything. Again,someone smarter probably would have been terrified at even the slightest sign of paralyzation—but I was panicking at the idea of confinement.
If I couldn’t move, how in the world was I supposed to execute a plan of creating a title for myself? My only shot at getting out of this was proving I was a good person. And, well, was I? Probably…no…definitely not. And if they were to arrest me, there would be no chance of escaping.
There was an eeriness to not moving or even having the option to proceed. For some reason, I felt lifeless, as though I was floating above a full-body mask. Even though the thought of being paralyzed concerned me, I was horrified at going to jail. After all, I was only 16—I had a party at 10:00, and there was no chance I was going to miss the opportunity to make a move on Victoria.
As I sat there, contemplating irrelevant topics, the inevitable happened. Considering the accident’s severity, I figured somebody would have had to call the cops. Unfortunately, someone did. As multiple police cars showed up, lights aggressively flaring, and crowds forming an awkward circle-like shape around the perimeter of the accident, I realized there was probably no escape.
Not even a minute after the Police made their loud, obnoxious appearance—I had policemen and paramedics swarming my body as if I was America’s most wanted. Questions were thrown at me left and right, and the scary part was—I couldn’t find the words to answer them. I urgently tried to explain that I was okay, that it was an accident, that I was a good-hearted, decent human being—but nothing came out. I had no idea what was wrong with me. Had I been too stunned to speak? Had my vocal cords somehow been paralyzed, too? Doctors gained my respect that day because I had no idea what was happening with my body. I physically couldn’t speak.
As I sat paralyzed, staring straight at the right side of the other crashed car, I wondered what the other victim was thinking. Had they been concerned about my well-being? Why hadn’t they come to check on me? If not for my current condition, I would have come to check on them.
From somewhere off to the side, I heard my mother’s voice. She must have been speaking with a police officer or someone who knew what had happened. For a second, I stopped eavesdropping. How long had it been? I couldn’t remember. My mind felt…fuzzy—blank in a way.
My state of confusion broke when I heard a woman aggressively sobbing. Something must have been wrong because the sound of someone having a breakdown had gotten louder and louder. The cries and sobs of the woman were awful to listen to. Normally I wouldn’t have cared, but these were the tears of pure sorrow. Were the tears related to the accident?
Then, the quiet stillness of my brain had been broken as I heard someone say, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but your son—he-he died immediately upon impact..” At that moment, my stomach sank—my heart skipped a beat. Although,my heart had been oddly still. What had I done? How could I have been so foolish, concerned about jail time when a man died? Considering someone’s blood was on my hands, it felt almost selfish to think of how to evade the consequences. I had been so caught up in my own business I completely disregarded the idea this accident could have caused a death.
As I sat there, I felt all sorts of hands grab and pull at my limp body. I knew I couldn’t move, but I still wished they had warned me before their hands got busy. As my body was lifted onto a stretcher like the ones you see in the movies, I was mortified to see a black sheet pulled over my body. I, quite literally, could see nothing. Confusion caused me to panic, as the Paramedics were clearly invading my personal space.. Didn’t the paramedics care that I was still conscious? Luckily, my hearing wasn’t inappropriately stripped from me. All I could do was listen. For some reason, the noises around me slowly started to seem farther away from reality. The only thing I heard was my mother’s voice, which came from right above me.
“Tell me one thing, officer…” she struggled to find the right words, “James…did…did he suffer?”
I considered her question and was aggravated because I was paralyzed and couldn’t feel anything. Didn’t she know that? Obviously, I couldn’t feel anything, why hadn’t the paramedics told her? Within seconds, I heard my reply and had gotten an answer to all my concerns.
Standing directly to the right of my body, a sorrowful man, most likely a cop, took a breath and uttered, “Ma’am, your son…James, he wasn’t in any pain, he died a peaceful death…”
All of a sudden, I felt a sudden release of pressure, like the air escaping from a popped balloon. An overwhelming force overcame me, and I floated into a strange abyss of…emptiness. All I felt was peace,and a sense of newfound purity in the absence of troubles. Then, I realized I wouldn’t be attending a party that night, or speaking to Victoria.
After all, dead people can’t go anywhere and they can’t say goodbye.
◆ ◆ ◆ ◆
“I realized I couldn’t move”
“I was floating above a full-body mask.”
“I had police and paramedics swarming my body as If I was America’s most wanted.”
“I was mortified to see a black sheet pulled over my body.”
“For some reason, the noises around me slowly started to seem farther away from reality.”
