Muffled cries are surrounding me.
My eyes are wet.
Why?
Rest in Peace, someone says, but it doesn’t feel right.
He doesn’t deserve it.
He tortured me for as long as he did.
And now he’s finally gone.
But why don’t I feel free?
Why does it feel like someone stole my lungs?
I feel captured and chained to an eternal loop of misery.
He has everyone’s sympathy and love.
All I have is pity and disgusted looks.
He stole my heart the moment I saw him.
A flawless face with blue eyes.
It was like I was drowning in them, and I gladly would.
Dirty blonde hair that I so wanted to run my hands through.
I eventually did.
But at what price?
My heart is shattered and irreparable.
I became unrecognizable some days.
My face isn’t bruised right now.
But my soul is.
It’s battered and bruised, and it will be for a long time.
His sorry’s and promises were an empty vessel in a desert.
He left everyone but me.
I will wake up in the middle of the night looking for him.
Not because I miss him.
Because I’m scared he’ll come back and drag me down with him.
Maybe one day I’ll be okay.
I will never be good.
But I will be okay.
