It started out small,

Nothing too bad.

But it should be

long gone by now.

It’s gotten much worse,

I can barely stand it.

It’s not just nerves anymore,

It’s a constant, looming cloud.

An everyday battle

Just to leave the comfort of my home.

Constantly hiding in the shadows

Out of fear of even speaking to anyone.

Confrontation is a nightmare.

I can’t even talk to others

Without internally suffering

An uncontrollable panic attack.

It’s gotten to the point

Where I can’t go anywhere

Without constantly

Looking over my shoulder in fear.

My paranoia has become unruly.

If I hear someone laughing,

I automatically assume

It’s at my expense.

Constant fear of judgment and rejection,

And bathing in self-loathing.

Living like this,

Is not really living at all.