An Ode to My Lost Time
November 2, 2015
Drip, Drip, Drop
My sanity slowly drips from my veins while I lie alone in my room.
I look around to see the world moving, double time, as I remain stagnant.
Lying was not my own choice though;
O’ no.
That choice was that of my mind.
Not to move,
Not to speak
I’m surprised that it even allowed me the ability to breathe.
So I lie there,
Helpless,
At the mercy of my mind.
I wonder,
Do they ever think of me?
The people that left while I could only stand still;
I remember them…
Her laugh always caused a chorus.
His smile managed to light up the gloomiest of rooms.
Now though, they are gone.
She is now a cheer captain.
He is now a robotics prodigy
Both having left me alone,
At the mercy of my mind.
Family grew old.
Friends broke apart.
I was left in isolation,
All because of my useless brain.
I wanted to stand.
I wanted to talk.
Oh hell, I wanted to live!
I never wanted to be left alone…
I wanted, no needed, help back on my feet.
I wanted to grow and live with my friends.
All of that was not in my cards though,
I was left in the dust,
Forced to lose years to my mind.
Conquering all you will now see me
I have stalked down my fears,
Hunted down my demons,
All that now remains is an empty battle ground in my head.
I stand in the center,
Blood covered, panting.
There were no weapons present in this war,
Or at least, none physical.
I went in with only my voice and hands.
Through tooth and nerve I fought,
Screaming down my mind with every last breath.
Triumphantly, I now stand in a sea of my fallen enemies.
I am standing battered and broken,
But it is still standing all the same.
Time is no longer standing still,
And my mind is now at the mercy of me.