An Ode to My Lost Time

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“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ― Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral’s Kiss

Diana Rodgers, Web Editor

Drip, Drip, Drop

My sanity slowly drips from my veins while I lie alone in my room.

I look around to see the world moving, double time, as I remain stagnant.

Lying was not my own choice though;

O’ no.

That choice was that of my mind.

Not to move,

Not to speak

I’m surprised that it even allowed me the ability to breathe.

So I lie there,

Helpless,

At the mercy of my mind.

 

I wonder,

Do they ever think of me?

The people that left while I could only stand still;

I remember them…

Her laugh always caused a chorus.

His smile managed to light up the gloomiest of rooms.

Now though, they are gone.

She is now a cheer captain.

He is now a robotics prodigy

Both having left me alone,

At the mercy of my mind.

 

Family grew old.

Friends broke apart.

I was left in isolation,

All because of my useless brain.

I wanted to stand.

I wanted to talk.

Oh hell, I wanted to live!

I never wanted to be left alone…

I wanted, no needed, help back on my feet.

I wanted to grow and live with my friends.

All of that was not in my cards though,

I was left in the dust,

Forced to lose years to my mind.

 

Conquering all you will now see me

I have stalked down my fears,

Hunted down my demons,

All that now remains is an empty battle ground in my head.

I stand in the center,

Blood covered, panting.

There were no weapons present in this war,

Or at least, none physical.

I went in with only my voice and hands.

Through tooth and nerve I fought,

Screaming down my mind with every last breath.

Triumphantly, I now stand in a sea of my fallen enemies.

I am standing battered and broken,

But it is still standing all the same.

 

Time is no longer standing still,

And my mind is now at the mercy of me.