(RAIDER FLATLINE) Illuminati Conspiracy Discovered at North Forsyth
November 4, 2014
After spending over a year at North Forsyth High School, I had come to the conclusion the school was ordinary. Students in this education facility act as typically as any other high school I have come into contact with, and so I made the archetypical mistake that most modern citizens made: There is nothing amiss. Fortunately for me, several abnormalities have recently begun to catch my eye, and slowly I have become awakened to the danger that actually lurks in the halls and classrooms of our very own school. For example, as I walked to class one day, I noticed a group of my peers walking close together, in a group of three. They appeared harmless, at first glance, and seemed to be trying to get to class, just like myself. However, under closer inspection, I realized that two of these people were walking slightly behind and to the left and right of the third student, forming a perfect triangle.
“No,” I thought to myself. “They are not actually…”
Slightly spooked, I turned to my right and glanced at the wall next to me. Hanging there was a poster for Mu Alpha Theta, the Math Honors Society. Three words, just like the three sides of a triangle, a shape common in mathematics. Three words, just like the three sides of a triangle, a polygon common in mathematics. I began to run. I knew they were here. As I sprinted away, however, I realized “run” was a three letter word. They were already influencing my actions. In that moment, I knew that I must debunk the Illuminati conspiracy enveloping my school.
Following my close encounter with the Illuminati themselves, I began concentrated research, underwent intensive thought, and attempted to prove their existence within the school. After exhaustive efforts and many bags of consumed Doritos, I have finally reached a conclusion so infallible that the organization cannot remain hidden any longer. I must issue a warning to anyone seeking to access this information. The faint of heart and weak of mind may not be able to handle the truth, and are advised to proceed with caution. Even those that who they are strong- minded, capable individuals may find this information disturbing and must come to terms with the fact that once they read it, their lives will be changed forever. Those who are already Awake know the actuality of the horrors held within the Truth.
The main colors for North Forsyth High School are black t and purple. Black and purple are typical colors associated with bruised eyes which are a result of physical contact and are commonly named “black eyes.” Another type of black eye is a black eyed pea. Black eyed peas are, on occasion, served in the NFHS cafeteria. The Black Eyed Peas is also the name of a hip-hop band whose first members met in 1988. North Forsyth High School was founded in 1994. 1994 minus 1988 equals 6. The iPhone 6 is a newly released cell phone invented by Apple and sees wide usage among students at North Forsyth High School. The iPhone 6 is 5.44 inches long and weighs 129 grams. 129 minus 5.44 equals 123.56. The only thing missing from 123.56 to make it a linear pattern (123456) is the number four. The fourth amendment to the United States Constitution was built around the idea that a person’s home is his or her castle, and that all people are secure in their person, house, papers, and effects. Writing on paper about the effects of persons on castles and houses occurs often in World History classes in North Forsyth High School. Coach Miller is the AP World History teacher at North Forsyth High School. A miller operates a machine that creates flour from grain. When one searches for flour on Google, the first flour company to come up is King Arthur Flour. King Arthur was a legendary king who supposedly lived in the Fifth and Sixth centuries CE and defended Britain from Saxon invaders. Being a king, he would have lived in a castle, just like the ones written about in World History at North Forsyth High School. One of the most famous castles in history is the Neuschwanstein Castle (the castle which Disney’s castle is modeled after) in Bavaria, Germany. Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, which features the Disney castle inspired by Neuschwanstein Castle, are popular amongst many students at NFHS. The horrifying, unseen truth is that the original Illuminati were a secret underground society founded in Bavaria, the very same Bavaria in which the Neuschwanstein Castle stands. North Forsyth High School is an Illuminati institution; confirmed.
Students need to open their eyes. The Illuminati are here in the midst of us ordinary folk, plotting and scheming for the implementation of their new world order, guiding us like a group of sick, twisted puppet masters. I personally do not wish to be controlled like a human RC Car, and I encourage all students of NFHS to embrace this mentality. Question authority, and never slip into the treacherous mindset that the government has nothing but good intentions. (Above all, however, realize that the moon landing was fake, football is rigged, and Antarctica does not exist.) The Illuminati plagues the minds of innocents everywhere with their false information, and it remains our duty as good American citizens to remain awake and prevent them from achieving their dastardly goals.