FLATLINE: NFL Joins the Violence-Free Animal Lover’s Club


Brandon Moss, Web Editor

Due to recent cases of abusive National Football League (NFL) players such as Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice, the NFL has decided to join forces with the Animal Lover’s Club, an anti-violence organization formed by former Falcon’s quarterback, Michael Vick. Through this group, puppies and kittens as well as a variety of other animals will be saved by kind-hearted football players. Large, scarred hands will take a break from viciously throwing sweaty people down on a field of fake grass and start gently petting miniscule animals sometimes smaller than mice.

Some found this move a ploy to lessen the criticism against the NFL’s employees’ long history of abuse, and, to this, the NFL responded with the following statement:

“We like to counter people’s criticism using our new motto: ‘You can be ruff and playful at the same time!’”