Mount Rushmore Elected President


Jack Scott, Staff Writer

In a surprise electoral upset, the American electorate seemingly became confused on Nov. 8 and voted en masse for Mount Rushmore. The mountain beat Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump by a large margin, winning 296 electoral votes to Trump’s 170 and Clinton’s 72. Rushmore did especially well in South Dakota where the mountain won in an unprecedented landslide. Other states where the mountain performed extremely well included Minnesota, Montana, North Dakota, Wyoming, Iowa and Idaho. Rushmore also won various other states notable for their mountainous territory, such as West Virginia, Colorado, Hawaii and Alaska.


Almost all pollsters failed to accurately measure the extent of popularity that Rushmore had among the American public. The inaccuracy of the polls largely reflected a misguided expectation that the mountain-lover demographic would vote and turnout more or less like it has in the past few elections. This caused pollsters to use “likely voter” screens, normally used to increase accuracy, that actually created an inaccurate picture of the overall electorate.


Photo Caption: Rushmore told the Raider Wire: “I am honored that the American people have chosen me to lead this great nation into the future. I will do everything in my power to preserve our nation’s mountains and hills, and will work with Congress to expand the number of mountains in the United States.”