Megalodon Sighted at North Forsyth


Lake Megalodon may have appeared to have shrunk is size, but do not be fooled. The lake is bottomless and contains a deadly prehistoric creature. “Yee. That thing will tear out ya innards through ya bum hole,” says local fisherman Horace Greely, inspecting his broken rod.

Owen Wickman, Staff Writer

Torrential rains in Forsyth County over the past few weeks have certainly dampened shoes, attitudes, and the backpacks of anyone trying to walk outside between classes, but few people are aware of the menace these rains have created. Massive lakes have begun forming around North Forsyth High School, threatening to envelop the school in eternal flood. The largest of these lakes, dubbed Lake Forsyth by its beholders, poses the most danger.

Last Tuesday, a group of students attempted to plumb the seemingly bottomless Lake Forsyth. Unbeknownst to them, evil lurked in the lake. A shadow began to surface, erupting from the water with a great splash. An enormous shark-like creature exploded from the water, consuming the stick they had been using. The students screamed, scrambled away, and swore to never speak of it again. This pact did not last. Three periods later, one of the students did not have Mrs. Cox’s math homework, and when she questioned him on its whereabouts, he replied, “A Megalodon ate it.” This claim sparked further investigations by the staff of Barton-Malow High School.  So far, the staff is denying the existence of the Megalodon, but several students offer other stories.

One of the students attempting to measure the depths of Lake Megalodon, the alternate name of Lake Forsyth, offered his description.

“The Megalodon had about 10 rows of teeth, probably weighed around 10 tons, and scared me more than that new Krampus movie coming out in December. After about 10 seconds standing still, staring into the jaws of the beast, I sprinted a solid 10 meters in about 10 seconds. 10/10, I would never go near Lake Megalodon again.”

NFHS Student Jace Haney also presented his experience with the beast. On Saturday, he was swimming in Lake Forsyth, enjoying a fine, saturated Saturday afternoon, when he felt an ominous presence in the water with him. Little did he know, he brushed with death that day.

“When I was swimming in the new puddle, I saw a shadowy figure under the surface of the rough waters. The shadow seemed to slither under the picket points of the fence, into the great unknown from whence my eyes couldn’t see,” Haney said. He advises all students to avoid the lake at all costs and to be wary of the pterodactyls circling the school as well.

The Raider Wire staff would like to echo Haney’s sentiments: one should avoid Lake Megalodon unless they have a death wish, and also wear a hard hat to prevent pterodactyl strikes. Lake Megalodon’s mighty inhabitant poses serious danger to those foolish enough to go near, and one would do well to steer clear.